how to fix a failing relationship

How to Fix a Failing Relationship: 9 Ideas

How can you fix a failing relationship?

To help you fix a failing relationship, we asked relationship and life coaches this question for their best advice. From using the listen and repeat strategy to evaluating tension points, there are several tips that may help you fix a deteriorating relationship.

Here are nine ways to fix a failing relationship:

  • Use the Listen and Repeat Strategy
  • Put Down Your Phone and Listen
  • Give It Time
  • Concentrate on Your Partner’s Needs
  • Take Responsibility for Our Side of the Street
  • Put the Past Behind You
  • Communicate With Your Partner
  • Stick to the Good Times 
  • Evaluate Tension Points

Use the Listen and Repeat Strategy

When tensions are high, it is easy to let emotions get in the way of sound decision making, thus, it is important to diffuse a difficult time in a relationship by incorporating a “listen and repeat” strategy. Although failing relationships often reveal themselves as anger, it often comes from feelings of frustration that stem from the belief that the other party is not being understood.

Therefore, instead of being reactive which clouds our ability to comprehend and cause you to misinterpret intent, gather the key points, and then repeat what they said. In doing so, you will provide them a sense that you are making an effort to understand their side, and at the same time, slow down the volatility of an exchange. By listening and repeating, you can concentrate on what the other party is saying, rather than how they are saying it, thus help fix a failing relationship.

Omid Semino, Diamond Mansion

Put Down Your Phone and Listen

Listening may be the most important skill to possess – putting someone else first as it’s not about you. In my humble opinion, it’s enormously difficult to build relationships without practicing reflective listening. Listen to the other person without trying to respond. Give affirmations that you understand, you get it, you HEAR them!  According to the Greek philosopher Epictetus  “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Communication is critical to the success of any relationship. Spend some time together, without phones. Try to remember what attracted you to this person in the first place.  Find your commonality again. Find your fun again.

Lynn Catalano, Lynn Catalano Speaks

Give It Time

Relationships take time to curate and heal. Take the time necessary to work through the problems and have open conversations. If needed, go to counseling as well or find a mentor who knows both of you. The third-party aspect can be very helpful.

Michael Jankie, Natural Patch

Concentrate on Your Partner’s Needs

Concentrate on your partner’s needs, which you had been ignoring. In relationships, the word “neglect” is dreadful. Taking your mate for granted is also a bad idea. It conveys a negative message. If you want to save a failing relationship that you care about, you must focus on your partner’s needs. It can’t always be about you. Could you take a listen to her music? Attend his sporting event. Demonstrate a genuine interest in the critical things to them. Learn and use your partner’s love language. Focusing on your partner’s needs with genuine interest sends the message that they are essential to you. A pattern of doing so will most likely catch their attention. Please don’t hold your breath, waiting for it to happen right away.

Axel Hernborg, Tripplo.com

Take Responsibility for Our Side of the Street

Most of the time when we are experiencing a failing work relationship, there is a breakdown in communication or lack of understanding, either mutually or where one party is in the wrong; all we can control is ourselves and our response to the situation. For example, every people-related problem I encountered in my early working days was directly or indirectly tied to my failure to see my contribution to the dynamic. If an associate caused the problem, I didn’t choose the right hire; if a team member’s performance struggled, I hadn’t correctly set them up for success. When key contributors exited the business, I was guilty of over-managing their work and halting their process. When we take responsibility for our side of the street, we can do our best to fix it through greater communication, understanding, or acceptance of what we cannot control.

Russell Lieberman, Altan Insights

Put the Past Behind You

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to let go of the past. All too often, we dwell on old hurts and grudges, allowing them to fester and poison our relationships. If you find yourself in a failing relationship, it may be time to let go of the past and focus on the future. Doing so isn’t easy, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Talk to your partner about your feelings and how you can move forward as a couple. Compromise, forgiveness, and communication are key to rebuilding a strong relationship. When you’re ready to move on, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and cherish the memories you’ve made together.

Lenny Terra, 10 Best For Men

Communicate With Your Partner 

The base of a relationship is trust, respect and communication. If you are having a hard time in your relationship, you must communicate with your partner. Communication is the key for a successful relationship, it can be friends, love or family. Talk to each other, say what is wrong and what you think you can resolve, ask for help, but always be truthful to yourselves, and honest about things. If your relationship is falling apart but you both still believe that you can save it, you need to communicate better, say what you expect from each other, what do you truly want from the other person. Being in a relationship is hard, fixing a failing one is harder, but with willing and commitment everything is possible. Don’t forget to talk and see what you can change to be in a better relationship. 

Zoila Streich, Independent Fashion Bloggers

Stick to the Good Times

Fixing a failing relationship is a battle. Yet, if you do care, going through this uneasy, emotionally demanding, and usually time-consuming process is the only way to succeed. You will easily find thousands of suggestions on rebuilding a relationship made by thousands of people online. Still, the golden rule is that there are no golden rules. We are all unique. What works for one, may not work for another. My only advice? Stick to the good times. They will be your source of power, strength, and patience. Dive into the bright past and get inspired by how happy you could be. Memories are a beam of sunlight in the dark days of a relationship. Let them remind you why not to give up.

Agata Szczepanek, MyPerfectResume

Evaluate Tension Points

Evaluate tension points to assess what exactly is causing the relationship to flounder. Sometimes, a failing relationship is simply because not enough time has been invested by each partner, and oftentimes that’s an easy enough fix. But if you find that the tension points are because of non-negotiable issues–such as your personal respect and goals and your quality of life–then it’s time to do a larger revaluation of the relationship. Because, sometimes, the way to fix a failing relationship is to let it go.

Dan Bladen, Kadence


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